Tossing and Turning: The Anxiety Over Choosing
Jonah 2:1-10 / Acts 1:15-17, 21-26
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What’s the biggest decision you ever had to make? Have you ever bargained with God to help you make a decision? Decision making can feel like hammering the nails into the coffin of opportunities. We agonize over making the wrong decision. But here’s the thing I want us to remember this morning--whatever decision we make, we can never stray so far that we are beyond God’s grace. Never.
In 2001 as a new graduate of St. Lawrence University, I was ready to take on the world in Columbus, OH as I began a 4 year Masters of Divinity program at The Methodist Theological School in OH. It was exciting and scary all at the same time as I had only ever lived 2 hours away from home. My parents helped pack me up and out to OH we went. I got all settled in. Less tears than when they dropped me off for undergrad! I was ready. At least I thought I was ready. Yet, it didn’t take long for self-doubt and doubting God’s call to ordained ministry to set in! About a month in, feeling too young, too inexperienced, too unknowledgeable, too in over my head…that when I flew home to be in a friend’s wedding on Labor Day my plan was to tell my parents I was going to be a seminary drop out. I had changed my mind. I had made a choice that was very difficult. I didn’t want to be a failure. I didn’t want to disappoint all those where got me to that place. Except, I couldn’t actually get the words out. I found myself at the airport to head back to OH. I had a quarter in my pocket to call my parents to come get me but I couldn’t put the quarter in the pay phone. I eventually got on the plane. I couldn’t turn around. That night, mad, angry, scared and very confused regarding the day’s events I cried out to God. With lots of tears and words I cried to God. “Why?” Why am I here? I don’t want to be here.” That is when I had an assurance and the message that God laid on my heart: “Richelle, if you weren’t supposed to be here you wouldn’t be here”. And with that peace- I continued on and it changed my life in so many ways.
In life, we all face moments when we need to make decisions—some small, others life-altering. The weight of these decisions can leave us feeling uncertain, anxious, or paralyzed, wondering if we’re making the right choice. But as believers, we don’t make decisions on our own. God has promised to guide us, direct us, and help us make choices. Today, we are looking at two great examples of decision-making in the Bible: Jonah’s prayer from inside the fish (Jonah 2:1-10) and the disciples’ decision to replace Judas in Acts 1:15-17, 21-26. Both of these passages reveal how God gives us guidance when we seek God in times of uncertainty.
Jonah’s story is a powerful example of how God guides us even in the midst of our failures and disobedience. After running from God’s call to go to Nineveh, Jonah found himself in the belly of a great fish, swallowed by the consequences of his wrong decisions. Yet, in this moment of desperation, Jonah turns to God in prayer. In Jonah 2:1-10, we see how God guides Jonah through prayer and brings him back on course.
Jonah, realizing he was completely helpless, calls out to God in prayer. Even in the depths of his despair, God listens. Prayer is the first and most important tool in receiving guidance from God. When we turn to God in prayer, especially when we’re facing a tough decision or struggling with our own mistakes, God is faithful to listen and answer. Despite Jonah’s initial disobedience, God doesn’t abandon him. After Jonah’s prayer, God commands the fish to spit him out, giving him another chance to obey. God’s guidance comes not only through answers to our prayers but also through second chances. No matter how far we’ve gone, God is always ready to redirect us and help us.
Then, when we turn to Acts, the disciples face a significant decision: choosing a replacement for Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus. This is an important decision as they need to maintain the number of twelve apostles. In this passage, we see how the disciples seek God's guidance through prayer and communal discernment.
The disciples’ first step was to pray. They didn’t just choose someone based on their own judgment or preferences. It was not a popularity contest. They asked God to help guide them. This is a crucial step in decision-making: rather than rushing to a conclusion, they paused to seek God’s will through prayer, asking God to guide their choice.
In Methodism we also talk about a process of discernment. We turn to Scripture first. We look at what our Christian tradition can teach us. We use our reason- our best thinking. We use our experience, and the experience of others to help us decide. The fancy name that Methodists call this discernment: The Wesleyan Quadrilateral. It’s pretty amazing!
The disciples also didn’t make this decision alone. They gathered together, prayed together, and made the decision as a community. Sometimes God’s guidance comes not only through personal prayer but through the counsel and wisdom of others in the body of Christ. The early church models for us those decisions should be made in unity, seeking God’s will together. We are not alone.
And here is the ultimate good news. Even if we have done all the discernment, and we still feel stuck, even if we get it wrong, we are never beyond God’s grace. As we seek God’s way, God will direct our paths and bring us to the place where we are supposed to be. Just as Jonah found God’s mercy and direction in the belly of a fish, and as the apostles found God’s guidance in their communal prayer, we can trust that God will lead us in every decision we face.
The bottom line is about trust. We are invited to lean into the truth that God is guiding us, even when we don’t have all the answers. We must be willing to trust that God will lead us even when we can’t see the full picture.
So, don’t be afraid. Talk to wise people in your faith community. Pray and pray together and then decide. God’s got your back- no matter what. Amen